Ford Patents Conveyor Belts for SUV Cargo Areas So You Don’t Have to Crawl in and Possibly Expose Your Butt to Everyone

Ford Patents Conveyor Belts for SUV Cargo Areas So You Don’t Have to Crawl in and Possibly Expose Your Butt to Everyone

Jason Torchinsky
Yesterday 7:00pm
Ever since there have been station wagons and other vehicles with long, open cargo areas, people have been packing them via the somewhat undignified process of crawling inside them like how I imagine a vet attending to an elephant’s hemorrhoids must do things. Ford, it seems, has decided to address this problem head-on, and the have the patent to prove it.
The patent is evocatively titled THIRD-ROW CONVEYOR LOAD FLOOR and that’s pretty much what’s going on here: the floor of the cargo area is replaced with conveyor belts, which let you stand, like a dignified adult, outside of your open tailgate, and send your groceries and packages and dogs down safely to the far end of the cargo area via the smooth action of conveyor belts.

What’s especially clever about this idea is how it’s implemented. Instead of having to add new electric motors to drive the conveyer belts—there’s two, one on the left, one on the not-left—and they’re driven by the seat-adjustment motors, which are engaged to drive the conveyors when the rear seats are folded down.
It appears that control of the belts is via a set of three toggle switches at the rear, which move each conveyor belt forward or back individually, and one switch to move them both in tandem.

Now, there’s no proof that this will actually make it into production—carmakers patent all kinds of crazy, blue-sky ideas all the time, but as far as crazy ideas go, this one seems pretty useful and rational and achievable, especially for older drivers or drivers without the physical ability to really get in there and wrestle crap all the way to the front of the cargo area.

Also, it’s a great chance for people to make their own OK Go-style dance videos, right in the comfort of their own car! Or even walk your dog on a treadmill while you drive! The American dream, realized.

Seniority Lists
Bargaining Committee

Mike Herron
Tim Stannard
Zone at Large – 1st
Danny Taylor
Zone at Large – 2nd
Mark Wilkerson
Joe McClure
Chad Poynor
Steve Roberts
Derek Lewis
Bill Cundiff
Dedrick Wells
Chris Potts
Jay Minella
Danny Bragg
Daniel Wray
Dominic Perez
Chris Brown

1853 Officers

Tim Stannard
Mike Herron
Vice President
Darrell DeJean
Financial Secretary
Mark Wunderlin
Recording Secretary
Peggy Mullins
Trustee (3)
Jay Lowe
Dave Clements
Dave Spare
Sgt. at Arms
David C Spare
Ashley Holloway
E-Board at Large (2)
David Ryder
Steve Roberts

GM Unit Chair
Mike Herron
Leadec Unit Chair
Larry Poole
Ryder Unit Chair
Patrick Linck
AFV Unit Chair
Katherine McGaw
Retiree Chair
Mike Martinez